Sunday, 8 July 2012

Science and the bogey eaters

Lately there's been some pretty large talk about the Higgs Bozon and the fundamental building blocks of matter and on the tip of every bogey eater's tongue is the question "How does this effect "the booger?"

Well. munchers everywhere, not very much!

As nibblers of snot, addicts of the big green monkey, we need not dwell on such triviality as the building blocks of the noseyverse - there is a nose and therefore there are pickers.

Does the Higgs Bozon particle represent the fingerprints of God? Personally, I don't believe in a God that needs fingers or else, brothers, why would we pick our noses so? It's an act of faith!

Lukacs said that matter was a limit idea of capitalism but who amongst us hasn't moonlighted at McDonalds and maybe wiggled our nostril finger at the food (just a little bit) - so it turns out that there's a little molusk, vaguely bogey shaped, at the back of bogey's and burgers alike.

Leibniz postulated the existence of monads in his book The Good, The Bad, The Bogeys and The monads" but these monads proved that life was a bunch of ideas and dirty white vans, train stations, girls and the bounty of the nose (including hairs) were merely a figment of our imagination and nothing better than Vera would stick behind the sofa on a slow day.

So, I say to you, brothers and pickers, let us continue unperturbed by the wider questions of metaphysics, bogeys are still bogeys - deal with it Johnny Handkerchief!

There will be a bogey eater singles night at the usual venue BYOB (Bring Your Own Bogeys)